Jack McConnell, the Labour man who is helping siphon off European funds destined for Scotland has been invited to Brussels to explain to regional representatives of other EU member states how Scotland distributes its aid.

One of McConnells henchmen said "Scotland is recognised in Brussels as a model of efficiency in the investment of European structural funding. That is why the Minister has been invited to explain how we do it."

READ: we've been caught thieving money destined for Scotland and now we'll use spin doctoring to explain our crime to the European governments